What's In a Nickname?

The subject of nicknames is one of the most sacred aspects of whYball culture. It's the nicknames that lend the greatest color and personality to the game within the game. Mundane and forgettable pick-up games take on new life when ordinary men in a single instance become hybrid characters with monikers that they may never shake for an entire lifetime. All because of what seemed like just an uneventful visit to the gym. Instead, they may be saddled with an unexpected and permanent identity alteration. El Producto, Oven Mitts, the Confederate, the Mixer, Klondike, Met Rx, Ritalin, Gunsmoke, Stridex, Nicoderm, Big Country, Jurassic Park, Tour de France, Jeffrey Dahmer, Gary Gilmore…. these are just a few of many that have taken hold on unsuspecting victims. Often someone will ask, "Hey, what's my name?" Which leads to the concept of nickname etymology. Where do they come from?

A whYball nickname is rarely concocted and never premeditated. Rather, a nickname is a revelation gifted from the basketball Gods in an ordinary moment that transcends into an epiphany to one or several players. A nickname could be triggered by many things, an errant pass, a malformed shot, strange attire, an accumulated pattern of on court habits, or maybe an uncanny resemblance to someone in popular culture. (i.e. Jeffrey Dahmer, John Larroquette, (AKA: Night Court) Dueling Banjos etc.….) Suddenly, without fair warning they have become like living graffiti. Someone may see a familiar whYballer in the mall, possibly a banker or attorney. Instead of addressing them by their traditional name, they will more likely say, "Hey Night Court, what's up?" or "Mixer where you been?" A bewildered spouse or child suddenly asking, "Mixer???" what's that all about. But because nicknames are a revelation, not every player is necessarily blessed with one. They may yet some day. A nickname simply cannot be a product of force or cheap fabrication. A nickname is not formally notarized, it is just accepted.

There is no real limit to the possible origins of new names. The authentic ones stick, and take on a life of there own as they become a part of the every day court vernacular. The weak and artificial nicknames are soon rendered obsolete and will fade away on their own. A legitimate nickname is only further reinforced by general appearance and play. It's part of the liability of playing whYball. Once accepted and internalized by the teammates and foes, it becomes reinforced and as permanent as a marked headstone. Beware to all who enter here! A strange and permanent name, not entirely of your choosing, may await you and haunt you for years to come.

whYBall Legends

• Oven Mitts
• Mr. Potato Head,
  a.k.a. Stinky Pete
• Lambeer
• Bag O Doughnuts
• Liquor Cabinet
• Vlad The Impaler
• The Hitler Youth
• The Kremlin
• Mr. Spacely
• Dueling Banjos
• Meth Lab
• Hippie Lettuce
• Dancing Bear
• Oliver North
• Six Pack
• Pure Prairie League
• The Disciple, or Simon Peter, or One of the Twelve